Villains

This is the first exert from my second book. It's very fitting for what I'm going through right now:

Preface:

I used to believe villains were just exaggerated caricatures from the stories and fairytales I grew up reading.  Then I met real ones in real life.

It didn't take long for me to realize that every villain I had ever seen on screen or on the page came from writers, people like me, who had recognized the real thing long before I did.  

Apparently, this included teachers, bosses, and family members. . .but to me, and most recently, this included someone who I thought truly loved me but wore the best mask possible.  He was my lover who didn't really know how to love; someone I thought I would marry, but showed me an intense, dark hidden persona.  

I wish I still had the ignorance I once carried; the soft belief that people like that only existed in fiction.

But I don't.

And I miss the innocence I once had more than I ever thought I could.

To explain, the one person I thought loved me... the one person I thought I could trust... turned out to be the villain of my story. It's so weird to think about all the good memories knowing what I know now. I think of all the sweet, grand gestures he did, the texting all day, every day... and it's not even the same person now. That person... doesn't even give a fuck to text me when he's sober now. Doesn't give a fuck if I died. How is that the same person I spent nights with in hotels, shared laughs with, danced with? It feels like different, more cold version. A version of him who doesn't give a shit if he ever forgets me. How is that the same person I loved and I thought loved me. How do you possibly drop someone so easily... someone who did so much for you I took care of your child, your dog after surgery, I went to your friend's funeral, I made sure you had food on nights you worked too fucking late, I took your dog outside when you worked those late nights. I fought for you to be able to travel with work. I fought for you. Defended you. I would have done everything for you... and you literally don't give a shit. How is that even possible?